A tradition that began with Dutch student associations: the 21 dinner. Perhaps you have never heard of it before or soon it will be your turn to organise such a dinner. Like many traditions, the 21 dinner has a number of rules you must follow. This means organising a 21 dinner can take quite some time. GENTS helps you along by explaining the rules, giving some tips, and of course clarifying the dress code. So read on quickly and discover the answer to the question: what is a 21 dinner?
Whoever has a birthday throws a party. How and when it is celebrated on a grand scale can differ by country. For example, America is of course known for the ‘sweet sixteen’ parties. You might not expect it, but there is also a tradition in the Netherlands around a specific age. We do not mean Sarah or Abraham in this case. No, we mean of course the 21 dinner! In the Netherlands, you are finally officially an adult at 21. The ideal occasion to give a special celebration, according to various Dutch student associations, and a new Dutch student tradition was born.
What is a 21 dinner?
Although it is already seen as a student tradition, this 21 dinner is a fairly new phenomenon. Therefore, not everyone yet knows exactly what this 21 dinner entails. Once you turn 21, you have reached a milestone. That certainly deserves a celebration. You can do this, among other things, by organising a 21 dinner. Within student associations this is very common, but more and more young people who are not members of a fraternity also give such a party. Since this dinner is organised more and more often, it is of course handy to know what a 21 dinner is.
The 21 dinner always takes place in the birthday person's parental home. The family is responsible for the decoration of the dinner and the food – as the birthday person, your opinion naturally also counts. For the dinner, according to student tradition, you invite the members of your student association. These can be classmates, fraternity members, or club members. Older friends are also warmly welcome. The underlying idea of the 21 dinner is that your friends take stock of your moral balance. During the dinner, you can expect all kinds of stories, both good and embarrassing. Besides a 21 dinner speech, you can also expect a roast. Afterwards, you traditionally head to the old pubs where you or the birthday person always went.
All the rules at a glance
Before GENTS explains some important aspects of the 21 dinner, we quickly list the rules that generally apply. This way you can see at a glance what is expected of you.
First, we name the rules that apply if you organise the dinner:
- It is customary for a gentleman to invite only gentlemen and for a lady only ladies, although not everyone follows this rule anymore.
- It is not a 21 dinner without a clear theme.
- Naturally, the overall decoration is important. This should be in line with the theme.
- The dinner takes place at your parents’ home.
- Compose a good menu. You can also delegate this task to your parents, since they cook.
- Send stylish invitations by post.
- Do not forget the seating arrangement.
- Make sure you have a thick skin, because you will definitely be roasted.
And now the rules that apply if you are a guest at such a dinner:
- Speeches are an important part of the 21 dinner. So prepare something fun, embarrassing, or emotional.
- Bring a small gift for the host and hostess (the parents of the birthday person).
- Of course, the birthday person also receives a present.
- Adhere to the 21 dinner dress code.
Organising a 21 dinner
Are you giving such a dinner yourself? Then keep the following aspects in mind while organising it. First, you need to arrange a suitable location and draw up the guest list. The dinner is intended to take place in your parental home. If that is not possible, arrange another location near the place where you grew up. Once the guest list and location are arranged, you must decide on a theme. The 21 dinner theme determines the decoration, the style of the invitations, and ultimately even the 21 dinner menu. You are free to choose a theme for your dinner.
Tip from GENTS: whatever you do, do not send the invitations digitally! A 21 dinner is a festive, elegant occasion. Naturally, stylish invitations sent by post belong to it. It is etiquette to send the invitations for a 21 dinner at least six weeks in advance by post.
The 21 dinner menu
For such a dinner, it is traditional that the parents of the birthday person cook and serve the multiple courses. As you might expect, the menu is one of the most important things. Therefore, spend the necessary time drawing up a suitable menu with your parents if you organise the dinner. Of course, the evening starts with a drink beforehand. Then you decide yourself how many courses your festive dinner has. In some student associations, for example, it is tradition to start with carpaccio. Check in advance if such rules apply to you. If not? Then you are free! For example, organise a 5-course menu where each dish is served with a matching drink. It can also be fun to come up with a cosy tapas menu so you can guarantee a lot of variety.
Tip from GENTS: the dinner may be luxurious, but do not overdo it. Compose a menu that your parents can actually realise. Are your parents not star chefs? Then do not make it too ‘haute cuisine’.
The 21 dinner dress code
Such a special event naturally calls for appropriate occasion clothing. The 21 dinner theme can influence the dress code. For example, if ‘gala’ is chosen as the theme, you appear in a stylish, formal suit or a 2-piece suit or 3-piece suit. In addition, the ladies wear a gala dress or the iconic little black dress at such a ‘gala’ 21 dinner theme. Is it a traditional dinner and the dress code is not further specified? Then you are guaranteed to be well dressed if you dress in line with the Tenue de Ville dress code. GENTS has the right occasion clothing for students for every event and theme. So if you have such a dinner on your agenda or it will soon be your turn, take a look at our range or feel free to visit our stores for additional advice!
Some more 21 dinner ideas and tips
As mentioned earlier, the decoration of the dinner is very important. Once you have a theme, make sure the styling of the table matches it. Think of a beautiful set of dishes, enough chairs, and of course the name cards for the seating arrangement. If your parents do not own elegant dishes or you simply fall short, Tip from GENTS: you may also rent. Invest in stylish dishes so that your theme really comes to life! In addition, it is also a 21 dinner tip to possibly personalise the dishes. Buy some cheap and beautiful dishes and give them a personal touch. Another good 21 dinner idea is to make sure there is a coat rack. It is a shame to eat at a beautiful table for your 21 dinner if everyone hangs their coat over the chair.
